Friday, March 12, 2021

Rain and Reflection at Descanso (pt. 1)

 Today was a day to try to get over my fatigue. Some would say that they would stay at home in bed and binge-watch something on Netflix, but that isn't what I wanted to do. It was supposed to rain today, but it looked very sunny, without a hint of clouds outside when I woke up. The forecasters are wrong, I told myself, and if I don't go out, I will regret it.

I was considering briefly going to a place called Turnbull Canyon, which apparently is in Whittier, a city which as been bestowed the title of the "Latino Utopia", because so many socially mobile Latinos aspire to move to this city to leave behind the barrios and begin their new lives as members of the professional classes. That hasn't been my experience, although the little I have seen of Whittier leads me to agree that it is a very desirable city, very quiet and peaceful, with ample street parking and impeccably maintained streets, nothing like the barrios where every parking space on the street involves a Hunger Games - like competition. I didn't go, though. The reviews all said that parking was a mess, that it all requires residential parking permits, and you will get a ticket. Plus, it was a little chilly, and I though, if the clouds do come charging in and shower the grounds below, so much of the hike seems to involve wide-open spaces without the possibility of shade or protection under trees, so I would be in trouble. So, I went to Descanso Gardens.

It was a quiet drive. I left at 10 a.m. and arrived in one hour, although I went first to Pollo Loco to buy something to eat. There is no point arriving at the attraction if you haven't eaten because they don't sell food there and, if hunger is biting away at you, there goes the enjoyment. So I gulped down a burrito and went inside by about 11:30 a.m.

First, the Japanese Garden. There were very few people there, but then, one could not ignore the darkening skies. One could feel the pressure in the air, rain was imminent. And it didn't disappoint, I was inside the building admiring the ponds and the rain came, and then it came harder, and at that point, there was no use trying to leave, we were stuck in the outdoor structure. I recorded some videos that I uploaded to social media, but for now, best to say it was a beautiful little storm, with some thunder, but it didn't last long. The sprinkles persisted for a little while, and I ventured out and, eventually, they went away. It reminds me almost of the opening of T.S. Eliot's poem, but I can't recall the verses, only that it might be from "The Wasteland".

So, I left this domain and proceded to the Rose Garden. It was beautiful, although the dull light did not help with photos. If I use any of them, I will have to adjust the light levels. However, I had so much fun taking them, and I walked along paths I had not explored in the past. I had a good time, although I had also told myself that I would climb part way up the little hill to a bench with a view of the surrounding mountains. Last time I was here, in early December, I had sat there and recorded a small video, in which I talked about how I was worried about my aunt (tía) Socorro. She had just been diagnosed with a tumor in her intestines, and they were telling her children (my cousins) that she would need to have an operation in one week. We were all very worried, and I think my tía was terrified. I was wondering if this was the start of the end for her, and I felt depression. And, it was indeed the start, but also the end itself, because she passed away about two weeks later. I never got to see her after Thanksgiving of 2019,the year my father passed away. With her passing, we lost another part of him, but I have to say, I loved my aunt in her own right, and it depresses me that she is gone. It has now been two and a half months, but I have bottled up my grief tightly. These have been difficult years, and I feel at times as if I am on edge.

I didn't go up the hill, I instead spent almost all three hours in the Rose Garden, and I could have spent more! I loved it, and the sun peaked out from time to time, too. It even allowed me to shoot two rolls of infrared film (the JCH Streetpan with the filter). I also took many digital photos with my Nikon D750, because I plan to begin another photo book that focuses only on this garden.

The years are moving quickly. We are all in a transitory state, and we all know what is coming. We will be leaving soon, but hopefully we still have some good years. I reflect on my tía and the difficult life she had, on my father and the way he faced his operation so bravely, the one that would kill him, and I think about other people who have come and gone, such as my tío Francisco who passed away back in 1992. It is indeed transitory. I wish my brother would understand this instead of wallowing in grief. I wish I had the patience to deal with him.

Here are a few cellphone photos from today.














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