And on schedule, disaster strikes

I went out today, but it would have been better if I had stayed in. I say this because of what happened, but who is to say if something else might have happened at home? I can't say that, but I am upset.

Having been invited to see a dance performance this morning, I went. Once again, I made the drive out to Claremont, a drive I have made several times this year to go visit the California Botanic Garden. There I went, not knowing what to expect, hoping there wouldn't be a crowd. There wasn't, but it was still nerve-wracking, because many of the parents were not wearing face masks. But I stuck with it and took photos and videos.

Disaster struck when I went to my university. It all began well enough, I had some food I had bought and it satisfied me as I ate it in the car. Then I got out and took my 8x10 (now dearly departed) WillTravel camera and my heavy tripod. I forgot my tripod socket, so I had to go back, but my intention was to get some 8x10 photos of the Japanese Garden. There was no one there, and it was cloudy with specks of sunlight. I thought that when it was cloudy that would make for the best light, because I don't want patches of light or harsh shadows.

Well, I got three shots, then thought I should go to the flower garden. I was not very smart about what I did. I was thinking that I was Todd Korol, a photographer from Canada who published a story about walking around at the Calgary Stampede (big event up in Canada) with his heavy, heavy 8x10 camera mounted on a tripod, taking street photographs. The image shows him walking around nonchalantly with the camera mounted on the tripod, just resting it on his shoulder at an angle. So, I thought there should be no problem with my light, light Willtravel camera.

I was moving to get a better angle because the angle I had was just not close enough nor did I have enough interesting features. There is a patch on the other side of the quisco that has some large red flowers, and so I had the camera mounted on the tripod and I was walking when I stumbled, and wouldn't you know, the camera went flying off the tripod and crashed down with a sickening crash and crack on the hard asphalt. I know, I know, what happened, I was still holding the tripod tight in my arms, it didn't leave my arms! But it came out at the tripod socket, and my mounting socket was still on the tripod, so it was the tripod bushel in the camera from whence it slipped out. I thought I had tightened it! It had felt a little loose, but I didn't push it more because these are printed plastic parts, and I thought, if I put extra force in there, I would break the camera that way.

So, what was the end result? The camera was destroyed. It just shattered, the focusing helical cracked and was detached from the body, and there were shards of other pieces, including the lens finder, littered about. The glass for the lens seemed to be intact, I was looking at it and it seemed not to be cracked, but looking at the rear element, I can see damage to the ring. Not the glass, the ring that retains the two glass elements.

I am crushed by this.

Having had such high hopes to be taking 8x10 photos until the end of the year, and all through next year, with my personal gadget, the printed camera, now I see it was a waste of time. The printed plastic is not strong enough! I think what happened is that, first, it might not have had a good grip on my mounting tripod socket, and second, any vector of force, such as my stumble, just sent the camera flying. It was not meant for this, it might be light and simple and portable, but it is not strong enough for the use to which I intended it. It was not meant to be, and now, I think I am out the $350 I paid for the printed camera, plus the $330 I paid for the lens. It is at least $680, over $700 if you count all the expenditures for the film holders (I had recently purchased an extra one last week from Ebay.)

Well, let's say $700, down the drain. But the thing is, you have to have a healthy mindset when disaster strikes. I cannot keep obsessing about it, I have to get over this. I drove home and went to bed and slept for 3 hours, just trying to forget. I got up and even my mom asked me if I had had a bad outing, and I didn't say anything. It was bad, I just wasted a ton of money and my ambitions and illusions were destroyed. 

I am conflicted. Should I tell the designer what happened? I am sure he will want to replace it for free, or for a very modest cost, but the lens is a goner too, and he has no responsibility for that, even if the build quality of the camera itself is in his camp. But no, I don't want to do so. He seems like an altruistic person, an elder man (he looks very gray in his profile photos) who is designing camera and he shares the files for free with others who want to print. So no, I don't want to tell him, but I might eventually. If he messages me, I will tell him. I will say that the camera is not sturdy enough for use, and while other cameras have been destroyed in falls by many, many, many other photo enthusiasts, this one should not have come off the tripod socket. 

But I have other fish to fry this week. The election is looming over us on Tuesday, and I so want us to get out from under Trump. 

Let me think about it. I gathered up the shards and pieces of printed material and put them in my bag, along with the lens. I have not cocked the lens to see if it still works. I didn't want to touch this situation today. I just want to give it a rest.

Tomorrow I should do something just to keep my mind occupied. 

The garden I was photographing. I managed to get three exposures here from different angles.

This is the tripod release socket. It stayed on my camera the whole time.

The camera body is destroyed. Look, the helical just came straight off, and look as those cracks in the body.

This is what I stared at in horror when the camera came off the tripod. 

This is what I wanted to photograph, but from a different angle. See those tall red flowers to the right? I wanted to find an angle with those and the rest of the campus. No such luck.

Smashed illusions, that is what this looks like. All that time waiting for an option such as this 8x10 portable camera, and this is what happens, it is on the ground in pieces. But I have to get over this.