Well, in a day spent inside, I have been worrying and worrying and felt ways of depression and anger roll over me. First, the cars started gathering in the house facing ours this morning. I saw them when I went out to retrieve the mail. All the family was gathering in that house, and they were parking their cars in the middle of the street, blocking the way in and out for the rest of us. The news came shortly thereafter: they had lost a family member to Covid. The eldest son of the neighbor had had to be taken to the emergency room and intubated, he was in advanced Covid distress, and he passed away a few hours later. He was the eldest son, a man who was, maybe, six or seven years older than I was, a man who was a lanky and light-skinned Mexican-American who I remember had longish brown hair and looked like all the popular portrayals of Jesus one sees in the religious iconography. He passed away, and they were telling the neighbors, and one told another neighbor who then called my mom and informed her.
So, right away, a scene of mourning. It was actually something to confirm to me that it was an unusual occurrence, not because of the gatherings, they always bring their swarm of cars and let loose a legion of teenagers, but because I saw them gathering in the front yard and, for once, in all these 10 months of Covid, they were actually wearing facemasks. They were a family of Mexican-Americans who absolutely refused to wear them, they thought they were resistant, or they were just oblivious, they would not wear them, and now, the eldest son was struck down. And, I couldn't help but wonder if it was wise to be gathered there as they were and have been for the past 8+ hours, because I know they will let their masks down and, knowing that one family was exposed to Covid, there is every reason to believe they will contaminate each other. But they are just oblivious, except for this morning when they were arriving and they actually did have masks.
It still makes me feel terrible and afraid.
Also, I've been thinking about the situation with Trump, and I worry that he will try to escape accountability. I know he will continue with his series of outrageous pardons, but something, the thought came up while consulting a twitter feed that he might pardon all the people who rioted in the Capital building. It is not beyond him, he is that shameless, and of course, I know he will try to pardon himself, although it is said that he cannot, but if they invoke the 25th amendment, he could have Pence pardon him. It is not beyond him, he is that criminal, and the fault is with the electorate that granted him the extraordinary powers of the presidency, the electorate that celebrates the rioting while demanding fierce intimidation against all who protest against him.
My mantra is and has to be, from now to the end of my time, that I can't worry about the things I can't control. I am losing sleep these past few days, I get an hour or two then just lay there in bed for hours at a time, unable to go back to sleep. I have to get over this. Don't worry about things you can't control.
In the meantime, the statistics for Covid are as bad as ever. We desperately need help and hope.
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